Intimate

Eating emotions/Starving feelings

or How it Feels to Fight an Eating Disorder

(April 2021)

It´s starting again.

Cake after cake, I can no longer take

having a pill instead of a meal,

taking in water to fulfill 

the gap inside me that´s not real.


Rules to follow, rules to break,

life is hollow without them.

Less and less, then more and more,

resentment in me might explode.


Watch the scale and forget.

I wish I could just escape.

Sometimes lose, sometimes gain,

still it´s sucking in my brain.


Eating emotions, but never spill.

Starving feelings, but never show.

In the end I do whatever I will,

in endless circle myself I throw.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At Home in Your Body

(July 2021)

Be at home in your body

Never knew what that means

Master, tame it,

Shape it according to your will


Control it, absorb it

As a part of yourself

Feel it and know it

As your best friend


Be at home in your body

Like a dancer on a stage,

I hope i shall know it,

That blessing some day

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Gift

{November 2021}


Something in unwrapping

inside of me

A brand new story

A present for me

A gift from me to humanity


Not another pack of empty words

but a box filled with souls

Maybe thriving fantasy

Maybe dark and grim

Either way rich in imagination

Magic and dreamy


An instrument of higher need

I present to you this gift

Decorated with my will

Accept it as it is; my scream 


~~~~~~~~~~~~

...

(August 2022)

Do you wish to replay

everything before today?

Again and again

circle of familiar events will never end...


Let´s stay locked in a cell

where wall are made of memories.

Future causes too many worries

and I´m not happy with present situation

so let´s freeze ourselves in yesterday´s motivation.


Can´t win a race against future.

I try to nurture

this day, this moment,

but always forget.


Every passing second itches

all over my consciousness.

Longing to rebuild a bridge

to connect us over this unknown grudge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Brain Cells

(July 2022)

My mind is polluted

I polluted it myself

This life could´ve been perfect

If not for my brain cells


They´re damaged, obscure

And they can´t seem to cure

It belongs in the past

But the infection still lasts


I get it´s a disease

I know it´s all wrong

But your mind might miss

This polluted mind´s created this song


I wouldn´t change this mind of mine

I don´t require ordinary life

Guess I´ll take a deep dive

Among broken brain cells, find the right one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ghosts

(September 2022)

Sometimes

I want to believe in ghosts

When you are gone

I wish to look forward to your haunts

Therefore I´ll never be alone


I used to believe in ghosts

Out of fun

Now I want them to be real

Out of need

Autor svake pjesme je Arijana G. aka Anakronizam

Author of every poem is Arijana G aka Anachronism 

 
 

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